About two weeks ago I had an audition for a guest star role on a Disney show. The breakdown listed a bunch of characters who were supposed to be of Japanese ancestry, no exceptions. The sides included scenes between a couple of characters who worked for some sort of Japanese entertainment or technology or social networking company but there was no mention in this breakdown of whether or not any of these characters should have a Japanese accent. I thought this was strange because it seemed like at least some of the older characters should – just to provide that “authentic” feel, even though to be really authentic they should just be speaking in Japanese, obviously. But every project I’ve been in for that’s ever required an accent has specifically said so in the breakdown. If there’s no mention of accents or dialects, it’s assumed we should do it in Standard American. Further, the character I was reading for was named Stephanie. So I assumed she was Japanese-American and should/could speak in perfect American English. Boy, was I wrong.  The casting director stopped me after a few lines and informed me I needed an accent. She was kind enough to give me some time outside to re-work on it. But to be honest, I was flustered and embarrassed and stumbled through my second attempt.

This experience made me start thinking about all the breakdowns I’ve seen over the years and how sometimes they include (or don’t include) information that can either make potentially-offensive assumptions about a certain type of people or are simply TOO politically correct that they come off as irritating. So one night when I couldn’t sleep, I started compiling a list of examples (some may be slightly exaggerated for effect) of excerpts from casting breakdowns that I seriously do see on a regular basis.

Female, 18-25, ANY ETHNICITY – All-American girl-next-door, blonde, big blue eyes, at least 5’7″. I am totally intrigued by any non-Caucasian woman who fits the physical appearance of this role.

Is there pay? Yes – Copy/Credit/Meals, IMDB credit and the opportunity to work with an award-winning crew. Last time I tried, my landlord refused to accept my newest IMDB credit as payment of my rent and my Starmeter failed to put gas in my car. 

A woman who has sex with men for money. Just say it – prostitute.

Must be a good actor. Really? So, you don’t want anybody who totally sucks to be in your film? Dammit, well, obviously I’m not gonna submit now.

NUDITY AND SEXUAL SITUATIONS. Character is gang-raped in the opening sequence of the film. Actress MUST be comfortable with this. This scene will be very tastefully shot and will focus on the artistic beauty of the situation. Hmm…A tasteful, artistically beautiful gang-rape scene? Please. Describe your storyboards to me in detail.

Project Info: Director’s feature film debut, written by award-winning screenwriter, so-and-so. The script was awarded Best Feature Length Screenplay as the Los Angeles Screenwriting Conference. An amazing opportunity to work with deep, artistic material rarely seen in the film industry today. Storyline: Jack is a middle-aged chiropractor who makes good money but is going on a downhill spiral because his wife and daughter abandoned him when they found out he spent they’re savings in Las Vegas and couldn’t pay there mortgages. Then he meets Sophia, a poor artist who has no money and lives out of her suitcase, but is way more happier than he is. If the script is written at least as well as this breakdown, I can’t wait to read it!

OK. That’s all I came up w/ for now. If I see more intriguing casting breakdowns in the future, I will be sure to keep you posted. Of course,  I would love to see your examples in the comments section too! Until then, break a leg.

The mockumentary is about Elle (me), an aspiring documentary filmmaker who vlogs about her experiences allowing traveling strangers to crash on her couch via the website couchhoppers.com (yes, that is a parody on the real website, www.couchsurfing.org). Soon, Charlotte (Shaina) arrives and the two hit it off, quickly establishing their relationship as new BFFs. When Charlotte invites Elle to strange meetings with a small group of people who worships cats and quote the Bible and pay dues, Elle  begins to wonder if Charlotte may be the leader of a strange cult (or New Religious Movement, if we want to be politically correct). As Elle gets sucked into the group’s increasingly strange behavior and propaganda that they are responsible for the second-coming of Jesus Christ, she must decide whether losing her sanity is worth making the best documentary film in the world…ever.

The idea of “JesusCat” was first discussed back in 2010 (totally guessing) while the play, “Twenty-Two” was in production (I think). For those of you who didn’t see the play, it was a very dark, voyeuristic exploration of cocaine addiction and depression and those types of things. So naturally, Shaina and I quickly agreed that our next project should be a comedy. And to keep things as simple and cheap as possible, we decided it should be improvised and that it should be a mockumentary so that I could play the documentary filmmaker character and therefore get away with home-video style cinematography and a small cast consisting of only us and a few of our friends and a small crew consisting of only the cast. So sometime in 2011 we began our regular meetings at Denny’s (the usual spot) and began brainstorming a loose, loose, loose story outline. We also watched Christopher Guest movies for inspiration.

And so, “JesusCat (or How I Accidentally Joined a Cult)” was born. And, yes, we struggled long and hard over deciding on the title. We began principal photography in September 2011 and are currently about 5 shooting days away from wrapping. Of course, 5 shooting days on a no-budget project can stretch over a period of a month or two, so don’t get too excited yet. However, we did throw together a short video to serve as a sort of “first look” into the movie, which is cleverly titled “JesusCat: First Look.”

We plan to release a few more shorts online during post-production and hope to hit a few film festivals before releasing the finished product to the public. So stay tuned, tell your friends, share our videos, etc. etc. etc. BTW, I think I still have some Fun Dip stuck up my nose from the last scene we filmed. If you want to find out why, you’ll have to keep following us online…

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/JesusCatMovie
Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/JesusCatMovie

“JesusCat (or How I Accidentally Joined a Cult)” is created by Shaina Vorspan and Julia Morizawa, and also stars Elizabeth Yocam, Vance Roi Reyes, R. Benito Cardenas, Evan Lewis, James Adam Patterson, Rene Guerrero, Allana Barton, Brad C. Wilcox, and more.

http://www.asiancemagazine.com/news/2011/10/21/why-was-little-yue-yue-ignored

I don’t necessarily recommend watching it, but it is certainly an eye-opener or wake-up call. In addition to the hit-and-run driver, plus the second driver that ran over her already helpless body, plus all the people who passed by her body, stared at it and did nothing; toward the end of the video, you see a woman taking out the trash and she literally drags the little girl’s body to the curb just to get it out of the way of traffic. Seriously – drags. Like a bag of mulch that fell off the back of someone’s pick-up truck. I watched the video 3 times. Not because I wanted to see it over and over again, but because it was one of those things that’s so disturbing and frightening and disgusting that I couldn’t stop looking. Like I seriously would tell myself not to watch it again, and then I would.

I’m not going to personally comment on the video – you can find plenty of theories and excuses and opinions about it online. But it made me remember an incident that I personally experienced a few weeks back. My boyfriend and I were walking in Granada Hills, looking for a restaurant. We passed by this Jack-in-the-Box on a street corner and there was this man lying flat on his back on the ground in the middle of the driveway that would lead into the parking lot and/or drive-thru. We walked passed him at first, then we both did this kind of double-take. My first instinct was that it was a homeless man chilling on the pavement. This is not uncommon throughout LA. But looking again, this man wasn’t “chilling.” He was flat on his back, and as we moved in closer, we saw his head was bleeding. So, we called 9-11. Long story short, it turned out this man was epileptic and had probably had a seizure. The point of this story is that my boyfriend and I witnessed maybe 2-3 cars drive past the man (carefully swerving to avoid him) and there were two employees from the Jack-in-the-Box standing outside, just staring at him and chatting to one another. Who knows how long they’d been standing there. My boyfriend was upset about how multiple people had obviously seen this man laying in the road, injured, but nobody except us did anything. I tried to give them all the benefit of the doubt. “Well, maybe they just came outside,” or “Maybe those people wanted to park out of the way first, then come see what was wrong,” or “Maybe they thought he seemed dangerous.” But after watching that Yue-Yue video, I think my boyfriend was right. All those people saw the man laying there, watched the man continue to lay there and bleed, and consciously chose to do nothing.

It’s unfortunate, but I guess it’s some human instinct of selfishness – a survival instinct, maybe – every man for himself, etc. The saddest thing about the man in the Jack-in-the-Box driveway though was that when we told him we had called 9-11 and that the paramedics were on their way, he got a little upset. He was upset because he “Couldn’t afford to go to the hospital.” He would have rather been left there in the street than be taken to the emergency room and eventually have to face thousands of dollars in hospital bills. And that’s sad, to me. Because I understand where he’s coming from. Health insurance is nearly impossible for most of us (well, at least the type of people I know) to come by. We just don’t qualify or we simply can’t afford it. So taking the action to potentially save our own lives or treat our illnesses is sometimes not a feasible financial option. But that’s a whole other issue of politics. And quite controversial – so I won’t be commenting on that either.

I’m supposed to be blogging to help promote my book but I don’t want to write about whatever I’m supposed to be writing about to help promote my book, which I obviously don’t know what that even is, so there.

The last couple of months I’ve been busy going on a road-trip vacation and shooting “JesusCat” (my current film project, which I’m co-creating with my friend, Shaina). I suppose I could blog about that. But I’d have to ask Shaina first. Wait, I think she’s my only subscriber, so maybe she’ll just read this then tell me “yes” or “no” the next time I see her.

I have a tendency to blog about things that make me angry, and I haven’t really been that angry lately. Sometimes I’ll be driving around town, right, and someone will do something to piss me off, and I think, “I’m gonna blog about that!” (like it’s a threat of some sort) then by the time I get home or even think of blogging again, I’ve completely forgotten what had pissed me off earlier.

I have a tendency to blog about things that make me angry, and I’m trying not to blog mean things because I believe in karma.

If I’m not waiting tables, shooting “JesusCat,” going to acting classes or running errands, these days I’m generally either sleeping or playing Hanging With Friends. I MUST earn enough coins to buy the polka dot balloons! There’s just no time for anything else!

I can no longer work on this blog post because I’ve just remembered something else I’d rather be doing.  Ta-ta!

Now, the role I auditioned for was named “A.C.,” and some brief research online shows that some G.I. Joe followers think that they changed the name of the role from “Jinx” (the actual character’s name) to “A.C.” because 1) It was a scam and not a real audition, or 2) The film was planning on changing the character’s name.  But it seems safe to say that “A.C.” and “Jinx” are one-in-the-same in terms of the movie because their character descriptions are pretty much identical.

I recently came across some press releases on IMDB that announced the casting of French actress Elodie Yung in the role of Jinx in the sequel. At first I was like, “OK, she must be some name actress in France and the production thinks they’ll sell a lot of tickets in France, or whatever.” But then I came across some information online (Wikipedia, so I know, not the most reliable source), about the G.I. Joe character of Jinx. I thought maybe it was a new character, originated specifically for the film. Because previously I could not find any reference to the character existing (but, mind you, I was searching for reference to “A.C.” so of course I couldn’t). What I did find was that the fictional character of Jinx is a Japanese-American woman, born and raised in Los Angeles.

And suddenly I was like, “Wait a second…”

Elodie Yung is apparently half-French and half-Cambodian. But she definitely looks French, or more bluntly, Caucasian. If I squint really hard, I can kind of make her look hapa. But she certainly doesn’t look Asian much less Japanese. So it makes me wonder, are they going to change the character to make her White or half-White and French? Or just try to play it off like she’s Japanese-American. Of course, the actress could have an impeccable American accent, so that’s one thing, but they’re not going to, like, tape back her eyes and make them slanted, are they?

And then I’m like, “Am I supposed to be offended?” Because, I really don’t know. I’m really bad at that kinda stuff.

It’s just interesting. I’m a little surprised I haven’t seen anything online from the Asian-American film community yet, commenting on this. Remember when M. Night’s “The Last Airbender” came out (I never saw it) but it supposedly cast a bunch of White kids in obviously Asian roles and he was like, “There’s no race or ethnicity in this story” and people were all super-offended? Well, here we go again.

So I e-mailed the peeps over at You Offend Me You Offend My Family requesting that someone clever over there write about their thoughts on this casting situation. Those guys are super-clever and super-Asian, so I hope they post something. That would make my day.

I also resent Radiohead’s most recent album, “The King of Limbs.” Now, this is major tragedy for me because Radiohead is my all-time favorite band and might just be the only band that has multiple songs that have moved me to a different place. Like, out-of-body experiences. Anyway. I had downloaded the album months ago when it was first released online, and listened to it several times through and have pretty much remained disappointed with it. I think it would have served better as B-sides or an EP follow-up to “In Rainbows,” as the sound isn’t much different. But then I received the $40 “box set” thingy that comes with the vinyl and the CD and the artwork (they did a similar thing for “In Rainbows” but that one went for $80). Well, the reason this one is so much cheaper is because it’s packaged super-cheap. I resent that it does not come in a sustainable case. It is wrapped in plastic. Now, I understand that the creative idea behind this was because all the artwork on the inside is printed like a newspaper. And, I know, newspapers are delivered in plastic. But everything is loose and flying around inside and I already opened it, so it’s like all torn up on one edge, and worst of all, I can’t fucking display it. Like, the “In Rainbows” box set came in a box (well, like a thick, cardboard case for vinyl), so I can put it on a shelf and prop it against the wall. I can’t prop the “TKOL” box-set! I can’t! And every time I look at it, all I can see is the edge where I didn’t rip it open quite right, so it looks all jagged, and I hate myself for opening it at all.

I also resent that playing “Hanging with Friends” on my iPhone seriously drains my phone battery.

I just recently finished this book, though it had been on my shelf for several years, probably since it’s publication in 2006. My aunt is the only person in my family who has ever tried to instill Asian-American culture or pride in me, and she usual does it by giving me books written by Asian-Americans, about Asian-Americans. I have to admit, it took me a while to warm up to the book. Although I immediately liked the concept, I couldn’t seem to get a grasp on the author’s voice. Her writing is awfully pretty and proper, and when it comes to memoirs, I tend to prefer a sort of sloppy, straight-from-the-heart read that doesn’t sound so forced. But eventually, I was able to see past this and connect to the deeper, heartfelt moments of her story.

Bento Box in the Heartland is considered a food memoir, because the author’s childhood memories of growing up as the only Asian family in Versailles, Indiana were primarily centered around food – the one Japanese thing that her parents brought with them to America and strived on to maintain their heritage and culture. I couldn’t relate to that part of the story, but I could relate to pretty much everything else. I grew up in a relatively small town, but there were at least two other Asian girls who I was close to at one time or another. And by the time I was in high school, there were probably five or more of us in my graduating class. But I related to everything from catching bullies in school pulling back their eyes into small slits as a way to make fun of me, to wishing and pretending I was white throughout my early childhood, to being frustrated at my own inability to defend myself against sleazy male predators with Asian fetishes because I was culturally taught to keep my mouth shut.

But the connection that hit me the hardest was realizing that I, now in my mid-twenties (supposedly), have just begun developing this thing called Asian-American pride. It took me several years of living in Los Angeles, meeting other Asian-Americans who flaunted their pride and were able to even make fun of themselves for being Asian. You know, the I’m-a-bad-driver jokes and the I’m-good-at-math jokes and the I-can-do-Kung-Fu jokes. As a child, I sometimes resented that my mom spoke with such a heavy accent because my friends would complain, “Julia, I can’t understand what she’s saying!” But now I wish my parents had just continued to speak Japanese at home, so I could speak it today. Since I’ve been in LA, I’ve attended a handful Asian-American events or gotten involved in projects that were made by Asians for Asians, when before I had avoided them because I didn’t want to be reminded that I was a part of that “minority” group. And I even have a section in this blog titled, “Mellow Yellow,” specifically for posts pertaining to being Asian.

I don’t really know what the point of this post is. I guess Bento Box in the Heartland just provided me with some food for thought and a little gratitude for life and what it has brought me. I sure like to bitch and moan, so it was a joy to read about another Japanese-American woman’s struggles and experiences, and how she came out the other side with a sense of total appreciation. So if you’re an Asian-American woman who grew up in an Asian-less town, or just a food lover who wants some Japanese recipes and stories of where they came from, I recommend this book.

Here are some links:
The Author’s Website
Amazon

Today, I was confronted by such a customer. It’s a restaurant. After chit-chatting for like two fucking hours after her meal was over, this lady finally looks at the check and calls me over. She states, “The tax and service charge are supposed to be already included in the price of my meal.”

“Umm…no.” That’s literally all that came out of my mouth. I was taken aback.

“It used to be included in the meal. The last time I was here it was included and now you’ve added it on here” (indicating the bottom of the check that does, in fact, add tax (it’s the law) and service (most people like this because it makes it easier for them and they don’t lose service to larger parties or people who spend more money than they do).

“Umm…It’s never been included in the price…uh…it’s always added…” (mumble, mumble).

“No! It’s always included in the price on the menu!” She looks over to her friend, who just mumbles something like, “Oh, I honestly don’t remember…”

OK. First of all, I’ve been working here since the day it fucking opened. The prices listed on the menu have never included tax and service. Period.

Secondly, most people understand that in our society today, when you buy something, there is a thing called sales tax. California has a very high sales tax. It may not be fair, but neither is life. And though most places only include the service charge (or “gratuity”) for larger parties, when you eat at a restaurant, you expect to pay tip. Again, in California, the “expected” tip percentage is very high. Especially when most of the service (in my experience only) in LA in generally, well, not very good. But society has placed these expectations on us and that’s that. It’s normal.

And lastly, what restaurant have you been to that includes tax and service in the prices listed on the menu? I mean, it probably exists somewhere in SoCal, but can you imagine? They would probably lose business to their competitors because no matter how well people can do math in their heads and understand the concept intellectually, their prices would look high compared to every one else. Tax and tip in California comes out to about 30%. What if Denny’s included tax and tip in their $5.99 Build-Your-Own Grand Slam? It’d be, like, $7.79. I’d be like, “Uh uh, I’m goin’ to iHop, bitches.”

So, what do you do in a situation like this? I could use pointers. Because the worst part is, my weak responses of “Uh…no…” probably just made her think even more that she’s right. But I’m not gonna be like, “Oh, I’ll go ahead and take the tax and service off the bill for you then, because even though you’re wrong, you thought you were right, so now you’re upset, and since the customer is always right, let me just bend over right here for you. Have a nice day.”

“Wallowa” has apparently been in the works for about 2 years, starting as a mere concept conceived by director Don Boughton. He first read about the story in the newspaper while traveling through Oregon. And the Son of Semele company developed the show (writing credit goes to Oliver Mayer) through improvisation and experimentation. It is based on the true story of a 76-year-old woman who got lost in the treacherous mountains of Eastern Oregon and was missing for about two weeks before she was miraculously found by a volunteer search and rescue team, in relatively impressive physical condition for the circumstances.

The final presented piece explores the perspectives of Maude’s husband, racked with guilt for having gotten them lost in the first place, their two children, the search and rescue team, and a fictionalized idea of what Maude may have experienced while she was lost. It makes use of a beautiful, mobile set (apparently inspired by an artist, whom I cannot recall), very elaborate and impressive lighting design, an incorporation of visual media, haunting sound effects (some of which were vocalized by the ensemble cast), and fluid physical movement. The fictionalized story of Maude’s experience (or hallucinations) incorporated Nez Perce Creation myths, serving as a tribute to the American Indian heritage in Eastern Oregon.

The ensemble cast consisting of twelve performers was quite flawless. No one stood out as being a weak link, which is something I see commonly in a lot of shows. Everyone was extremely strong, however Dee Amerio Sudik as Maude and Alexander Wright as her husband, Howard, were my personal faves. Every casting member was committed as individuals (whether performing as humans or animals), and committed to the ensemble. You know that whole cheesy joke when a stage actor is asked to “be a tree?” Yeah, well, it wasn’t cheesy when these guys did it.

“Wallowa” only runs for a couple/few more weeks, so if you’re in search of an impressive piece of live theatre that may make you tear up at the end (I sure did), go check this one out! It performs Fridays and Saturdays at 8:00pm and Sundays at 4:00pm, with special Monday night shows on 4/25 (tonight) and 5/2 at 7:00pm. Go to www.sonofsemele.org for complete details.

“Wallowa: the Vanishing of Maude LeRay”
directed by Don Boughton
written by Oliver Mayer
starring Sarah Boughton, Sharyn Gabriel, Daniel Getzoff, Gabriel Liebeskind, Gina Manziello, Matthew McCray, Diana Payne, Alex Smith, Dee Sudik, Alex Wells, Jonathan CK Williams and Alexander Wright.

If you don’t know, “Judas Kiss” is an independent feature film that I worked on last summer, directed by J.T. Tepnapa and written by Carlos Pedraza, both of whom I know through several years of working on Star Trek fan films with Hidden Frontier Productions. The tagline for the film is “If you had a second chance, would you grab it?” I guess I’ve been calling it a gay-themed time-travel drama about second chances. In the film, I play the supporting role of Abbey Park, whom I like to call the snarky fag-hag.

Anyway, so the film premiered at the Phoenix Film Festival on April 2 and I drove to attend. And despite being totally cranky after a long drive and dealing with a little bit of a cluster-fuck about actually getting into the screening, I have to say the premiere has probably been the highlight of my year so far. The screening was sold-out so it was moved to a larger theatre. I think I heard it out-sold some movie about or by the creator of “Everybody Loves Raymond” and some Keanu Reeves flick. But don’t quote me on that. There was a Q&A following the film, which most audience members stayed for. I just mostly stood upfront, doing my darndest to make sure it didn’t look like I had to pee really bad… because I did.

I think the best part of the premiere was that I actually adored the movie. I mean, so far, the ratings and reviews that I’ve seen have been positive and people have been really liking it. But let’s be honest – I would say about 90% of the films I’ve ever worked on, I’m not necessarily impressed by. I mean, I don’t want to go as far as to say I’m not proud of them, but a lot of them ended up being crap, which is why you’ll never be able to see them because they never went anywhere. But I really liked “Judas Kiss” (yes, I still cringed watching myself), but I teared up at the end. It’s a fucking good movie! And it’s the film that I am most proud of being involved with – so far!

I think the worst part of the premiere was that – okay, again, just being honest here – it’s a gay film. It’s pretty much only hitting gay film festivals. A lot of the audience members so far seem to be gay. And there’s a lot of male eye-candy in the film. So, yeah, I admit, I feel a little – on the sidelines. I mean, none of those audience members were interested in getting a photo with me or getting my autograph. A little self-conscious, are we?

I’m hoping to make it to the screening at Frameline in San Francisco. Maybe another road trip. But apparently it’s the largest LGBT festival in the world, so I’d hate to miss it. I’m still a bit of a fag-hag at heart. And I’m super crossing my fingers that it gets screened in LA at Outfest this summer. Super-super crossing!

For more information, including upcoming screenings, visit:
www.judaskissmovie.com
Or become a fan on Facebook.