I can proudly say I am proud of “Judas Kiss”

OK, I meant to share about my experience at the “Judas Kiss” film premiere at the Phoenix Film Festival on April 2. But I didn’t. So, after it’s screening at the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival last night (which I did not attend), I figured I should at least mention it.

If you don’t know, “Judas Kiss” is an independent feature film that I worked on last summer, directed by J.T. Tepnapa and written by Carlos Pedraza, both of whom I know through several years of working on Star Trek fan films with Hidden Frontier Productions. The tagline for the film is “If you had a second chance, would you grab it?” I guess I’ve been calling it a gay-themed time-travel drama about second chances. In the film, I play the supporting role of Abbey Park, whom I like to call the snarky fag-hag.

Anyway, so the film premiered at the Phoenix Film Festival on April 2 and I drove to attend. And despite being totally cranky after a long drive and dealing with a little bit of a cluster-fuck about actually getting into the screening, I have to say the premiere has probably been the highlight of my year so far. The screening was sold-out so it was moved to a larger theatre. I think I heard it out-sold some movie about or by the creator of “Everybody Loves Raymond” and some Keanu Reeves flick. But don’t quote me on that. There was a Q&A following the film, which most audience members stayed for. I just mostly stood upfront, doing my darndest to make sure it didn’t look like I had to pee really bad… because I did.

I think the best part of the premiere was that I actually adored the movie. I mean, so far, the ratings and reviews that I’ve seen have been positive and people have been really liking it. But let’s be honest – I would say about 90% of the films I’ve ever worked on, I’m not necessarily impressed by. I mean, I don’t want to go as far as to say I’m not proud of them, but a lot of them ended up being crap, which is why you’ll never be able to see them because they never went anywhere. But I really liked “Judas Kiss” (yes, I still cringed watching myself), but I teared up at the end. It’s a fucking good movie! And it’s the film that I am most proud of being involved with – so far!

I think the worst part of the premiere was that – okay, again, just being honest here – it’s a gay film. It’s pretty much only hitting gay film festivals. A lot of the audience members so far seem to be gay. And there’s a lot of male eye-candy in the film. So, yeah, I admit, I feel a little – on the sidelines. I mean, none of those audience members were interested in getting a photo with me or getting my autograph. A little self-conscious, are we?

I’m hoping to make it to the screening at Frameline in San Francisco. Maybe another road trip. But apparently it’s the largest LGBT festival in the world, so I’d hate to miss it. I’m still a bit of a fag-hag at heart. And I’m super crossing my fingers that it gets screened in LA at Outfest this summer. Super-super crossing!

For more information, including upcoming screenings, visit:
www.judaskissmovie.com
Or become a fan on Facebook.

2011
04/24
CATEGORY
if all the world's a stage, i want better lighting
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“One Night to Die For”

So, yes, the Knightsbridge Theatre is the company that I am a member of. But that doesn’t mean I can’t review their shows too. It just means I’ll probably be a little nicer than usual, especially if I know and like the majority of the people involved.

“One Night To Die For” (no longer running, as I didn’t see it until closing weekend) was an evening to two one-acts – “Audience” by Michael Frayn (the author of “Noises Off”) and “The Real Inspector Hound” by Tom Stoppard (Academy Award and Tony Award winner). “Audience” was a quick-paced comedy with mostly short and vague dialogue or inner monologues occurring between audience members watching a bad play, a dead-pan usherette, and the playwright agonizing over lack of audience reaction, coughing fits, a ringing phone, etc. etc. etc. Then in “The Real Inspector Hound,” two theatre critics are literally sucked into the murder mystery they are reviewing. It was my understanding and interpretation that director, Scott Dittman, subtly hinted that “The Real Inspector Hound” was supposed to be the play that the characters in “Audience” were watching, even though the two plays have nothing to do with one another.

“Audience” took place in the house of the theatre. The real audience (paying ticket holders of the Knightsbridge) were all crammed into house left, while the fake audience of “Audience” was scattered throughout house right. What was funny is that several of the people in the play were company members, but before the show, they were mingling out in the lobby and buying concessions as if they were real audience members. So they were pretending that they didn’t know us. This was a great little pre-show show for the real audience members who didn’t really know anyone in the show. And it was a fun little game for the rest of us. There were definitely at least two people who were faking it out in the lobby that I really thought were just there to see the show like me. The not so-funny thing was the cramp I got in my neck from having to watch the show sideways, and the fact that there was a beautiful, bright, empty set on stage, and I kept expecting at least ONE thing to happen on the actual stage, but nothing ever did. I thought the play itself was a lot of fun though. The people I went with didn’t really like or get it. Yes, it was a little sloppy, and I think that was mostly in the writing. It jumps around from being actual dialogue to being just thoughts running through the characters heads, and there’s no way to distinguish which is which. So throughout the play, I never really knew what was being said out loud and what was being said in the characters’ heads. Except for the playwright character – obviously the things he was saying were just in his head. And then there are these random dramatic sub-plots, like about a woman realizing her husband must be cheating on her, that seemed totally unnecessary and melodramatic. So, basically, what happens in the show, is the audience absolutely hates the play they’re watching, but through a series of interruptions and annoyances, they basically subconsciously convince each other that they love the play. And the playwright triumphs in this success, despite the fact that the audience decides his play is a comedy, though it is not. I think my two favorite moments in this show were 1) Elizabeth Yocam’s hilarious dead pan curtain speech (which was not actually part of the play, it was just her character from the play making the actual curtain speech for the Knightsbridge Theatre), and 2) Elizabeth Yocam’s hilarious dead pan improv out in the lobby while selling concessions (which was also not actually part of the play, it was just her character from the play actually selling concessions). My least favorite aspect was that one of the performers in this show is someone I do not know personally but I have seen in a Knightsbridge production before. And as much as I’m sure the person is fabulous in many ways, he/she is just absolutely unrealistic and stale as an actor. This person performs as if he/she just memorizes the lines and then recites them out loud without any subtext or emotion, and I think the play would have been completely different and far easier to follow if a stronger actor had played that role. And I know I’m being mean, but other people have stated they feel the same way. It just baffles me, and all I can think is that no one else auditioned for the role or that he/she is a personal friend of the director’s. There, I said it. Now I’m going to have some bad karma or something, but I had to let that out!

Now, “The Real Inspector Hound,” in my opinion, is a stronger written piece to begin with. The two theatre critics (Dan Cole and Brad Upton) open the show, again, sitting house right. Then the faux play within the play took place on the actual stage. The play within the play is a murder mystery and is really, really bad. And that’s what made it so funny. It’s filled with intentional exposition. Vicki Conrad’s maid character (sorry, I don’t remember the character names and they’re not listed in the program) went so far as to recite stage direction like, “One hour later. The same.” Hi-larious. The two female leads in the faux play (Marti Hale and Karyn O’Bryant) were entertainingly over-the-top. And the fast-paced banter between Cole and Upton (primarily about Cole’s character falling in lust with the actresses on stage and not having an affair, and Upton’s character wanting to kill his missing critic partner) was pretty damn tight and if there were any slip-ups, they went unnoticed. Eventually, the two theatre critics are literally pulled into the play within the play, and following some farcical randomness, end up dead. Performances in “Inspector Hound” were more balanced, as in, no one was noticeably stronger or weaker than the rest, which made it a smoother viewing experience. My biggest criticism for this play was that it’s a British play, so it was performed with British accents, but not all the actors could actually do the accent, and it was quite noticeable when people struggled with it. Which brought up the discussion (following the show), when are accents really necessary? I mean, couldn’t they have just done the show in American accents and, therefore, been able to maybe focus more on things like timing. But because of the language used in the play, it may have sounded stupid in American accents. Like, if you say “Bloody hell!” in an American accent, it just sounds stupid, right?

I’ve always been conflicted about the accent-thing. Like, what if it were a play being performed in English but set in Germany. Should all the actors then speak in a German accent? Or do we just assume they’re in Germany, so in real life they’d be speaking in German and not in English with German accents, so there’s no need to do the accent at all? Like, remember the film adaptation of “Memoirs of a Geisha?” The book is set in Japan but was written in English. So the film was in English. But they all spoke with accents. And it was especially odd because Zhang Ziyi (or Ziyi Zhang), is a Chinese actress who didn’t speak a lot of English at the time, so her accent was some mesh of all sorts of randomness. And, yet, I could understand her fine. And then Nicole Kidman was nominated for an Oscar for “Rabbit Hole,” in which she constantly slipped in and out of her Australian accent. So, it’s like, why bother?

End tangent.

Anyway, kudos to Scott Dittman for a fun night of one-acts. Nothing mind-blowing or thought-provoking, just a good time. But the run is over, so I can’t really say, “Hey, you should go check it out.” So, don’t go check it out. It’s too late. You snooze, you lose.

2011
03/25
CATEGORY
playing well with others
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I think that was… racist

So, there’s this Von’s that I sometimes shop at because it’s the only grocery store in the area open late. And because I only go there late at night when I’m absolutely desperate, there’s always the same cashier working. And he’s like the only person working in the entire store, so I have no choice but to go through his checkout line. Now, this is me totally passing negative judgment, I know, but he seriously looks like a pedophile and he has that creepy vibe where he just looks at you and you feel violated.

Anyway, so every effing time I go there and see him, the first thing he says to me is “Anyong haseyo” (basically, “hello” in Korean). I’m not Korean, nor do I speak the language whatsoever. I actually had to Google the phrase to make sure I spelled it correctly in English. But, of course, I could tell it’s Korean and I could safely assume it meant something along the lines of “hello” or “good evening.” So, the first five times he did this to me, my response was either “I’m not Korean” or “I don’t speak Korean” or an annoyed glare. And usually my glare, I think, made him drop it. But this last time, he followed it up with something in Mandarin or Cantonese (I think), then with “Konbanwa” (which is “good evening” in Japanese). Now, I am of Japanese heritage. And I understand a very minimal amount of the language. But I don’t speak it because I was not taught Japanese growing up. In fact, a lot of third and fourth generation Japanese-Americans were not taught the language because they or their parents had been thrown into internment camps just for being of Japanese ancestry, and from that point on, they tried to be as American as possible – losing their language, culture, religion, etc.

Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is – that shit really pisses me off. And it totally offends me. I know not all Asian-Americans feel the same way because I’ve talked about this kind of stuff with my Asian-American friends and they don’t seem too bothered by it. But, yeah, I’m offended when someone looks at me and makes an assumption that I must speak some Asian language or that I don’t speak English. However, I do understand that this doesn’t just happen to Asians. I see it happen to Mexicans and Latinos all the time. People just automatically start speaking Spanish to people who look Latino. And 95% of the time, that person does actually speak Spanish. So, I can’t say for sure why it offends me so much. Maybe it’s because I feel some sort of regret or resentment for not being taught my ancestors’ native tongue. Maybe it’s because I’m jealous of people who are multilingual. Maybe I’m just an angry person.

Oh, but the thing that really pisses me off, no matter what? I absolutely hate it when people tell me how “sad” it is that I don’t speak Japanese. “Oh, that’s terrible! That’s sooooo sad.” Oh my God, please, make me feel like a bad person because my grandparents spent their adolescence and early adulthood in an internment camp and were too afraid to teach their kids the language when they finally got out. Dude – I’m Asian – I’m already hard enough on myself, I don’t need your help. And let’s be honest – the people who say things like that or speak to me in Korean or Japanese or Chinese – they’re not other Asians. They’re not other minorities. I mean, I don’t go up to them and just start speaking in German or French or… Latin. OK, nobody speaks Latin.

The worst part about this particular asshole at Von’s is that he does this to me every time I see him. So, he can’t even tell me apart from all the dozens of other Asian girls he probably does this to. Every time, I stare at him with loathing and disgust, and he still does it again the next time I see him.  I mean, come on, there can’t be that many Asian girls shopping at Von’s. Lord knows we can’t get good rice there.

2011
02/24
CATEGORY
mellow yellow
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Turning Twenty-Three

No, I’m not turning twenty-three. I just couldn’t think of a creative blog title to represent the play I wrote and produced in 2009 and 2010 entitled, “Twenty-Two.” So, there’s that.

It had just been on my mind recently because I’m in the process of moving. And in that process I came across the box under my bed in which I had stored all the little props and song cues and whatnot. And I was struggling to decide whether or not I could throw away the items. It was mostly junk – lots and lots of straws, powdered milk, Smarties candies, a pipe filled with remnants of fake weed, ripped up underwear and several hand mirrors. I had originally saved this box of junk because of the possibility that we might do another run of the show in the near future and it would save me from having to go out and buy it again. But then I admitted to myself, we’re not going to do another run of the show in the near future.

I mean, I guess I just don’t want to. I can’t imagine doing another run right now. It was exhausting and emotionally draining and carried all sorts of personal baggage along with it. And the year and half we spent developing it, previewing it and performing it that first time around was just the right amount. It was therapeutic and beautiful and brilliant. And I got it out of my system, and that was that. Yes, a huge part of me wishes we could have run longer and more people had seen it and we’d gotten a bigger following. But we didn’t. And not at the expense of my sanity.

For those of you who don’t know, “Twenty-Two” was a very personal play about cocaine addiction that I wrote, produced and performed in. It premiered at the Knightsbridge Theatre in January-February, 2010. And it pushed the limits on theatre realism in terms of the dialogue, performances, and the fact that the audience was seated on stage, 360 degrees around the primary performance space. And, yeah, sometimes the scenes were occurring behind you.

Joel Elkins of LA Theatre Review summed up our unique approach to the way we performed this piece by stating, “There’s small theater and then there’s intimate theater.  For its current production, The Knightsbridge Theatre has taped off its normal 99 seats and gathered about 25 folding chairs around the stage, pulling the audience so close they almost feel part of the action.  Which is, I guess, the point.  What’s more, the company makes an inspired choice not to pass out programs until after the play is over, so as to further make audience members feel like participants, rather than mere observers.” Yay! This guy really got it! And, of course, I have to throw in what I thought was most flattering part of his review: “Well, if art is supposed to imitate life, Twenty Two has accomplished its mission.  The characters are totally believable, the dialogue is as natural as it gets and the acting overall is amazingly realistic.” You can still read his full review here.

But I bring this all up now because, well, I threw the props away. I emptied out that box. I really did it. Finally – one year later. But that’s not all! Then I submitted the play for publication to Original Works Publishing. Yeah, I might consider submitting it to Sam French too, but it doesn’t feel like the right fit, or even a realistic endeavor. I think the play was too grassroots and is too ballsy (for lack of a better term) for them to accept. Plus, I think you have to have like super-long production runs for Sam French to even consider your work. And I did this as my way of putting this project to rest. It needed closure. That’s not to say I wouldn’t do a revival at the Fringe in Edinburgh someday when I’m rich and can afford to fly a production out there. But, just for now, to have peace with it.

And it’s all kind of sad in a weird, I-don’t-quite-feel-the-weight-lifted-from-my-shoulders sort of way. It brought up other things for me, like I starting thinking, “I need to release my short film, ‘Sin & Lyle’ for sale on DVD – finally – 5 years later!” And I got myself all worked up. But no, I don’t. The film is available to view in full on IMDB for free (view it here), it hit some festivals, got a nomination and I have my own damn DVD copies already. The project is dead, Julia! Let it effing go!

Shit, I need a new project. I need to sit down and write that feature film that’s been mulling in my head and in random notes for the past 5 years. Yeah, I think that’s my next step.  I’ve done a short film, I’ve done a play, I’ve done a book. Just gotta find the next challenge and do it.

Now, will someone please pay me?

2011
02/23
CATEGORY
if all the world's a stage, i want better lighting
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“To Kill a Mockingbird”

“To Kill a Mockingbird,” put up by The Production Company @ The Lex Theatre, is a well-done show. Of course, if anyone is going to put up an adaptation of such a heart-warming, heart-wrenching, masterpiece that we all had to read in grade school, then it better be good. I mean, it would be, like, disrespectful to Harper Lee do it poorly. Further, The Production Company printed an entire page in the program filled with nothing but their awards and nominations for the past several years (borderline cocky), but as long as they walk what they talk, they can do whatever they damn well please. Adapted by Christopher Sergel and directed by TL Kolman, “Mockingbird” is primarily worth watching because of the brilliant story and just adaptation, and strong performances from the cast.

Lorenzo T. Hughes as Tom Robinson especially stole the show for me. With really only one stagnant, dialogue-heavy, courtroom scene to work with, I think he, by far, gave the strongest performance of the cast. James Horan as Atticus Finch was also quite flawless in performance, though his interpretation of the character was presented more externally than internally. The rest of the adult cast was strong. A special shout-out to David Stifel as Judge Taylor because he’s always fantastic in anything he does.

But it was really the kids that had to carry the show. We see the growth through their eyes and I think they all had the most stage time. It’s always impressive to see such young faces hold their own in a production. I will not be surprised if I see Lucy Eaton (Scout), LJ Benet (Jem) and Patrick Fitzsimmons (Dill) develop successful careers as actors, as long as they don’t get sucked into the dark underbelly of the industry that steals the childhood away from so many young performers. They each handled their dialogue with grace and ease, though some challenges, I think, with the accents made them sometimes difficult to understand. Their more dramatic (aka crying) scenes were forced and felt fake, but I would imagine they were probably directed to fake it on the outside just to create a specific effect when deemed necessary.

If the performances are representative of Kolman’s direction, I think he/she (not sure) came through impressively. The only character choice that threw me off was Margaret Dwyer’s interpretation of Mayella Ewell. I don’t remember the book well enough to have my own opinion about the character. And then I thought maybe the actress was sick. But basically, her nose was running really bad for every minute she was on stage as that character. Like, I could see it from 20 feet away. I kind of felt embarrassed for her. Then I thought maybe she chose to play the character as being mentally handicapped. But it wasn’t clear or strong enough, so the whole time she was talking I just wanted someone to give her a handkerchief.

In terms of the adaptation, I would have loved to see Inda Craig-Galvan as Calpurnia more. She had quite a small role but I vaguely remember Calpurnia being my favorite character in the book. Craig-Galvan took advantage of her short time on stage though, playing the sass, love and strong-woman role with ease. And The Production Company sure knows how to make good use of a small space. The set – 3 different front doors, 2 of which revolved to represent the courthouse and the jail. Well done! The only glaring disadvantage of the small stage were a handful of moments throughout the play that represented either fear or distance or speed, for lack of a better way to put it. Such as, the mad-dog scene or the fight scene toward the end (I don’t believe in spoilers). Basically, when actors were “running away” from something, they couldn’t. So they’d take small, slow steps in the opposite direction and you could just see them praying for their scene partner to speed up the dialogue so they’d have a reason to stop before hitting the wall. This probably could have been remedied with a simple direction like, “Pick up your cues!” But it is what it is.

The worst part of the show (which has nothing at all to do with the show), was this lady in the front row decided to unwrap a lollipop in the middle of the second act, during a completely silent moment, none-the-less. My friend and I couldn’t believe it! Actually, we could – people are so oblivious sometimes! To me, it felt like a long, awkward, five minutes. The people sitting directly around her were all staring at her, but she had her eyes on the actors, her finger fumbling – crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. I swear, it was as if the actors on stage were waiting until she had popped that sucker in her mouth before they picked up their dialogue. Then she was sneezing throughout the rest of her show. Probably an allergic reaction to the lollipop. Ha! That’s what you get for being rude. Some people.

“To Kill a Mockingbird” runs for another 2 weeks (I think). Visit www.theprodco.com for the real, accurate information.

2011
02/07
CATEGORY
playing well with others
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Reviewing the reviews

A new review of “Memoirs” has been posted online – almost exactly one year since the release of the book. Since I just recently started this blog and therefore, did not “announce” the prior reviews here, I thought I could hit two birds with one stone by re-posting sections from some of the reviews, then reviewing them. Well, not really reviewing them – just put some responsive thoughts out there. Especially on that one seething review I got a while back…

Ashley Lister of Erotica Revealed stated, “As Morizawa’s story develops, the high standard of the writing and quality of the author’s ability to convey her message to the reader remains beautifully focused. Morizawa is a first-rate writer.  The quality of the writing blends literate prose with an accessible style that few authors can manage.” This part is really flattering. This is the part I posted on Facebook and Amazon. I truly believe I was able to accomplish this primarily because I’m not really a writer. I mean, I took English and Creative Writing in high school, but I don’t really remember much about structure and plot and those other technical things about conflict and resolution (I remember they showed us a graph of this stuff in grade school). But I never outlined and planned – I just sat down and wrote and chain-smoked cigarettes. Some stories came out of me  in a matter of a few days. Others took years. And many stories were never finished and therefore, never made it into the book. So, basically, I didn’t really try too hard. And because I wasn’t very structured about it, the words came from the heart. And I believe that no matter how uneducated, inexperienced or illiterate a person might be, words straight from the heart that express only truth, are naturally and effortlessly beautiful.

Then, Ashley went on to say, “As a word of caution, I should add that I came away from this title believing there was an underlying current of misogyny in the content….To some extent this lends itself to the credibility and honesty of the narrative.  It reminds the reader that we live in a patriarchal hegemony where the female is constantly subjugated by a majority of negative role models and a dearth of positive role models.  But, for some reason, that subjugation still feels like misogyny.” This part, I did not brag about, but I still find it be a very intriguing and important part of the review. I admit, I looked up the word “misogyny” just now to make sure I was on the right page. It is much simpler than I had thought – “A hatred of women.” Hmmm. Yeah, I guess I can see that. Trust me, it wasn’t on purpose. But Ashley has a valid point and backs it up with some examples (you’ll have to read the full review). The majority of the stories in “Memoirs” are very dark. They’re not happy fantasy stories. And in many of them, the narrator herself speaks openly about treating herself poorly and allowing others to treat her even worse. And from a personal perspective, I have had issues with women in my adult past. I mean, I always got along easier with boys than girls. And I’m generally quicker to judge a woman than a man negatively. I think it’s a competitive thing. No, a jealousy thing. Something only I can work  to fix. But I sincerely hope that this part of the review doesn’t turn women away from the book. I really did write it for other women – especially the ones who are most like me.

My first official review was written by Axie Barclay of Sacramento Book Review. Her review was more short and sweet, stating, “Morizawa’s debut collection of erotica is an impressive read with an array of identifiable characters connecting to the darker side of the feminine.” But I mention this one specifically because Axie later contacted me directly via email. She gave me less technical compliments at that time, which meant a lot. She basically thanked me for being bold enough to write and publish “Memoirs.”  Tiffany Schlarman of Reader Views said something similar in her review: “Julia is brave to open herself to the world and bare her story….’Memoirs of a Wannabe Sex Addict’ sheds light on real issues, real people and real sex.  Julia does a wonderful job of portraying all three, as well as hoping that others find their way just as she has.” I think these women have basically summed up why I wrote this book. Yes, it was partially my own self-centered form of artistic therapy. But it was also about sharing it all with other women. They say, “We get what we have by giving it away.” I think that’s why I write (and why I’m an actor) – to heal myself and to inspire others.

Now, on another note – I did receive one bad review on Amazon that definitely made some valid points, but at the same time (and this will sound sexist no matter how I put it), was obviously written by a man. Wait! Don’t get me wrong – I’ve had several fantastic and supportive reviews by men on Amazon. And this one reviewer is actually someone I personally asked to review my book for me, so it’s not like he found it himself and thought it’d be something he’d like. We just don’t have similar thinking or something. He starts off with, “This book is an unfortunate hybrid of apparently autobiographical narrative and raw adult fiction, and they do not go well together.” OK – fair enough. If you want something to read before bed so you can have a happy ending, this is not the book. He added, “Unfortunately, I found very little of this work to be erotic, in that it really didn’t catch my interest, and generally failed to arouse me.” Well, I warn most everyone – it’s dark. It’s not really “sexy.” It’s not meant to be. It’s meant to be honest and thought-provoking (although I don’t know if it’s that either). I mean, I certainly didn’t get turned on writing most of these stories. I guess I was never really expecting the reader to either. Although I think most of them have and that is an expectation of erotica. He also pointed out, “The errors in spelling, punctuation, usage, grammar, syntax were so frequent and glaring that they affected my intake of this book; by the third chapter they were distracting, and by the fifth chapter I was annoyed at having to read through this sub-professional work. Not once in this book were “lie” and “lay” used correctly. “Naval” was consistent in its use to describe a belly button. “Ground” and “floor” were consistently interchangeable. Two people leaving one another were “departing company.”" This I won’t argue with. Because I haven’t read the book since it’s been published, so I couldn’t say for sure whether he is making an accurate observation. But it’s not unlikely. I repeat – I’m not really a writer. My spelling was always quite good, but my vocabulary sucks. And all the technical writing skills I ever developed were given to me in K-12. I’m pretty sure I didn’t have to take English in college because I took Honors and AP classes in high school. So it’s been a good number of years since I’ve reviewed anything about grammar and sentence structure. So, he’s probably write (that’s a joke). But not one other person said anything about shitty grammar in their reviews. I guess if you don’t like a book as a whole, you’ll be more apt to critique the little things. “As for overall content editing, it appears Morizawa was her own editor.” Uh…yeah…I think I was. I think the small publishing company cleaned it up to some extent and reformatted, etc., but now that he mentions it, I don’t think it was really edited in depth. He concludes with, “Bottom line: If all you want is rumpy-pumpy, and you don’t care how it’s presented, this book is for you. But for the more discerning reader, if you can get past the myriad glaring editing failures, there is an unresolved conflict between the collection of stylized erotic encounters and the story of one woman’s journey from abused and abusive tramp to recovering and mature adult.” So, I’m not quite sure what he’s saying there, but I can pretty much guarantee there aren’t any sentences like that in my book! But my favorite part – someone commented on how much they loved his review and she suggested that maybe English is my second language. Well, for you, sir – it is.

I admit, his review is well-written and entertaining. And I admit, I was a little peeved when I first read it. But that was like 6 months ago, so I’m sooooo over it. Plus, it’s the only review of it’s kind. Every other review basically says quite the opposite. And for some odd reason, he still gave me 3 stars, so my average Amazon customer rating is still 4 1/2 stars. Plus, I’m an actor, I’ve been told worse about myself and have been reviewed poorly before. And reviews are stupid anyway – they don’t really mean anything. So there!

Erotica Revealed – full review
Sacramento Book Review – full review
Reader Views – full review
Bad review on Amazon

2011
02/06
CATEGORY
the pen is mightier than ______
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I can’t tell myself apart from other Asians!

On Jan. 16, 2011, the following was posted on Movieline (I saw it via IMDB): “So, while I was underwhelmed by The Green Hornet, the best part was definitely Jay Chou’s Kato. Or, if I go by IMDb, that would be John Cho’s Kato. Yes, 38 year-old Korean-American John Cho is basically the same as 31 year-old Taiwanese Jay Chou. It reminds me how much I liked Ken Jeong’s Sulu in Star Trek last year. IMDb fixed the problem, but the long memory of the internet has the proof after the jump.”

I immediately forwarded the link to a friend of mine who is also an Asian-American actor. The last time we had seen each other we were wondering who was playing Kato in “The Green Hornet” and whether or not it was John Cho (I would say the most famous of the 3 Asian actors mentioned in the article), and if Jay Chou was an alias he was using (because at the time, IMDB had credited both Jay Chou and John Cho for the role), and did it even really matter if the character is in a mask the whole time. Actually, the character probably is not in a mask the whole time, but I wouldn’t know cause I haven’t seen the movie and have no intention to do so at this time. Anyway, I forwarded it to my friend because I thought it was entertaining. When we perform on stage together, not only are there Asian jokes circulating backstage, but we also realize that it may be difficult for certain audience members to tell us apart (despite the fact that I am a petite Japanese-American female and he is a tall Filipino male). Anyway, my friend had already seen “The Green Hornet” and was disappointed to learn that the actor was, in fact, not John Cho. Oh, and if you’re unclear on where the sarcasm in that Movieline article begins and ends, Kato is played by Jay Chou, Sulu in “Star Trek” was played by John Cho, and I don’t know who Ken Jeong is but he has a shitload of credits and appears to be most known for his role in “The Hangover” (also according to IMDB, so no guarantees on that information).

So, yes, perhaps there was this crediting snafu on IMDB because some would say it is generally difficult to tell Asians apart. Then again, incorrectly crediting a role in a major Hollywood blockbuster comic book film, is pretty serious. I mean, if I were Ken, I’d be pissed. I hope the end credits in the film were accurate. Further, we can’t necessarily just blame IMDB because basically anyone with a free IMDB account can “Update” information on anybody else’s page. I could credit myself for the role of Alex in the most recent revamps of “Charlie’s Angels” (actually played by Lucy Liu) and the error would not get seen for a long time. I recently had to delete a bunch of names from the IMDB title page of a film I associate produced because, well, those guys weren’t in our film. Period. But who knows how long they’d been credited for it because I’m not looking at my own IDMB pages every day. Well, I’m not looking at that page every day.

Now, as an Asian-American, yes, I get confused with my fellow Asian-Americans on a regular basis. Speaking of Lucy Liu, to this day, I still get told that I look like her, probably 2-3 times a month. Maybe 5 years ago, I would get stopped on the street by people asking if I was Lucy Liu (although I think those were just slimy men trying to strike conversation). And most recently, at the restaurant where I wait tables, a guest (who’d probably had too much sake), stated that I was Lucy Liu and I was researching a role. I thanked him for informing me. Then one of my co-workers, apparently, looks like me. We get confused for one another all the time. People will finish having conversations with me that they started with her, and there’s nothing I can really do other than smile and nod. We were recently asked if we were twins. After saying “No,” we were told, “But you’re sisters, for sure” (or something along those lines). This reminds me of growing up in a small town when one of my best friends in elementary school was Asian (like, the only other one in the entire school). She was Vietnamese and we looked nothing alike. But people often referred to us as sisters, even when we told them we weren’t.

But, I have to admit, I too, have often had difficulty telling other Asians apart. I have a hell of a time watching Asian films because I often get the primary characters confused with one another. At work (I work in a sushi restaurant), and even though the service and interior does not have a true Japanese feel to it, there’s been a definite recent trend in hiring all Asian-Americans (although mostly Koreans, of course) for the front-of-house. And every time we get a small wave of new people (mostly girls) in, I can never remember who is who. I have to consciously make an effort to find something distinctive about each person (hair, posture, voice) to tell them apart. I know us Asians can find it offensive when people who are not Asian can’t tell us apart, especially if they vocalize that they cannot tell us apart. But, let’s be honest, it’s hard to tell us apart!

The bright side? Well, lately I feel like I’ve been seeing more and more Asians on film and television. I can’t really think of any example right now other than “The Social Network” and “Scott Pilgrim” (which I finally just saw over the holidays). In both those films, even if the Asian female supporting roles may have been a bit annoying, they weren’t speaking in broken English and they weren’t prostitutes (well, not in the legal sense). I could have played any of those roles easily. And in those examples, I can’t use the excuse that I’d never get cast in films like that because I’m not White, Black or “Hispanic” (I put that in quotes for a reason not related to this post, so I’m not going to get into it). In fact, in the feature I was in last year (“Judas Kiss,” due out this spring), I did not have to speak in an accent or take off any of my clothes. If you’re an Asian or Asian-American actress in LA and look at the breakdowns on a regular basis, you understand how big of a deal that is.

So, all in all – IMDB, if you can’t tell Asian actors apart, don’t feel too bad. You’re not the only one. But as the appearance of Asians in film and television increases, hopefully you won’t have this problem again.

2011
01/21
CATEGORY
mellow yellow
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My 2010 at the Knightsbridge Theatre

Since I came into starting this blog because of the Knightsbridge Theatre (yes, I blame them), I figured I should actually contribute to the KB blog and write something relevant to the theatre. I have been a proud company member for about 3 and a half years now, having performed in maybe 9-10 of their productions. I thought I’d take a moment to reflect on the productions I performed in last year: Twenty-Two, Romeo & Juliet (a disco drag farce), and Macbeezy: the Macbeth Hip-Hopera.

Twenty-Two: Definitely the most, well, “serious” of the 3 shows. And the most personal. I also wrote and produced this original one-act, which I had workshopped and tailored throughout all of 2009 before opening it up to the general public. Let’s see – it all started over a normal Denny’s dinner with co-producer and company member, Shaina Vorspan. We had both joined the company at the same time, had performed side-by-side (quite literally) in our first KB show together, and generally got along. And somehow it got decided that we should work on an original piece together. Twenty-Two is based on a true story and basically follows a  young woman’s descent into cocaine addiction. It was very dark and very realistic. I suppose it was a story that had been brewing inside of me for a couple of years. Well, it was a true experience, so it was just a matter of turning it into a relatively cohesive narrative. I have notes of the story outline from 2006 that I hadn’t touched in a while. There’s always something very disorienting about finding old notes for a creative idea. It’s like finding an old diary. Anyway, so I brought up this story idea to Shaina, she liked it, I think I completed the first draft sometime toward the end of 2008, and voila, we were ready to find someone to help us kick the shit out of it. In comes Raymond Donahey, director and former KB member. He’s the one who started calling Shaina and I the “Filthy Lovelies” and this name kinda stuck. And there started about 1 year of weekly-ish meetings in which we played improv games, wrote fake (depending on how you look at it) character diary entries, and sometimes just vented about life in order to get our creative juices flowing. This all sparked many rewrites on my part of the script. Then sometime around the end of the summer of 2009, we brought in James Patterson (company member) and Matt Black (non-company member, but we’d just seen him in KB’s production of As You Like It) to fill the other two roles in the play. Matt was the only person we actually “auditioned.” And that just entailed him coming over to one of our weekly pow-wows, reading some sides, and finding out if he was actually interested in committing to a show that didn’t actually have any official performance dates yet. And our small cast came together. We rehearsed in the recreation room of Raymond’s giant apartment complex for the standard six weeks. This was all in preparation for a single invite-only performance in which mostly KB members would be invited, including Artistic Director, Joseph Stachura, in order to sort of pitch the play to him for the 2010 season. Rehearsing in the rec room not only got us some enemies (apartment managers), but also gave us the idea of the theatre-in-the-round-audience-in-the-middle-of-the-action thing. If you saw the show, you’ll remember that the stage was set-up to look like the main room of an apartment and that the audience was seated on the stage with the actors on various couches and well, mostly fold-out chairs. This allowed the actors to weave around the audience members and forced the audience to be right smack in the middle of all the action. This was purely for realism-sake and to make you really, really uncomfortable. But it was also really cool (patting self on back) and something I’ve never personally experienced (or even heard of) in a theatre before. Anyway, after the invite-only show, we got a lot of great feedback which led to another, pretty major, round of rewrites (special thanks to company members Paul Miailovich and Shari Shattuck for their specific, elaborate and very helpful critiques). Well, Joseph liked it enough that he offered us the opening slot for the Knightsbridge’s 2010 season (running alongside Theatre’s Classic Hits). We gave ourselves another few weeks of rehearsals to learn the script changes, re-block it for the KB stage, and try to get the word out there ASAP. We had a great resp0nse, almost sold-out for most of the 8 performances (well, with the audience-on-stage-thing there were really only like 30 seats, but hey), and had a short, small extension. We got a couple reviews (one who thought it was absolutely brilliant and the other…not so much). Overall, it was an amazing experience and one of my proudest accomplishments ever. Some lessons learned include: powdered milk is the least difficult and least uncomfortable item for prop cocaine, herbal cigarettes are yucky and only make me want a real one more, and the James Patterson in our show is not the same man as the best-selling author of those detective novels. But in all seriousness – Twenty-Two was an effing awesome show. You can still check out some video and photos and press online, but the domain expired, so you have to go to: www.juliamorizawa.com/TwentyTwo/homepage.html.

Romeo & Juliet (a disco drag farce): I had wanted to work with Paul Miailovich (director) for a while. He also joined the company around the same time I did and was one of the most dedicated and hard-working members from day one. He’s also very anal (that’s a compliment and not meant in the way you’re thinking) and really goes all out with his productions. I mean, for R&J, he rented a truck that some of the cast and crew disco danced on in the Gay Pride Parade in West Hollywood. How cool is that? Anyway, I had always wanted to work with Paul and he basically threatened that this might be my last chance since he was going to start law school. So I had to take the opportunity. Plus, he was boldly taking Shakespeare’s greatest tragedy, the most famous love-story of all time, and turning it into a comedy. But not just any comedy – a farce. If you saw the show, you’ll remember that Juliet was played by a large man in drag (company member Scott Dittman) and all the fight sequences were turned into disco dance-offs. I had actually prepared and auditioned for the role of Romeo. Paul had stated that the role would remain male, but wanted to see me do it anyway. And that was a lot of fun – I got my boyfriend to help me prepare Romeo’s balcony monologue in a Brooklyn accent, portraying a lot of the Shakespearean text in exactly the way Shakespeare did NOT mean it, but in ways that modern English could poke fun at. But in the end, having someone like me (really not very convincing as a man) play Romeo would have weakened the punch line of Juliet being a drag queen. So I took the role of Friar Laurence – you know, the guy that gives Juliet the fake-dead sleeping potion that leads Romeo to suicide that then leads Juliet to real suicide. Except I played the Friar as a blind Kung-Fu master. So I still got to play a man – just old, and with a really over-the-top stereotypical Asian accent. And yes, Paul and I discussed the should-we-or-should-we-nots of me (an Asian-American woman) playing this comedic, stereotypical Asian man. So maybe it was borderline offensive, but 1) I thought it was brilliant and so funny that I was cracking myself up, and 2) Asians tend to be okay with making fun of ourselves, it’s just when non-Asians tell us that we’re bad drivers that we get offended. So, I had a lot of fun with this role and it was great practice. I’m not entirely confident when it comes to comedy, so I loved having a safe place to really go for it, and to have the right situation where there was no such thing as “too big.” The great thing about Paul’s direction is that he’d get his vision out for each scene within the first time we rehearsed it, which meant the remaining several weeks (and the run) were left for us to play, expand and discover. And I took the role seriously. I studied Chinese accents online (specifically Cantonese because I was told that’s the Chinese accent that most Americans associates with being a Chinese accent), I bought a beginning Cantonese CD so I could just hear and practice the sounds found in that language, I bought a Tai-Chi DVD to learn real moves for my opening scene, and I sported my long white beard and wig as early on in the rehearsal process as possible. That beard was initially a pain to work with but truly made all the difference. I even watched YouTube clips of Pai Mei from “Kill Bill” to learn how to whisk my beard over my shoulder (which is not as easy at it looks). Oh, it was so much fun! Some lessons learned include: toupee tape works 100-times better than spirit gum (or any liquid or glue) for applying fake facial hair (especially if you have to take it off and put it back on several times within one show), disco dancing is an extreme cardiovascular work-out, and Vance Roi Reyes (Lady Capulet) looks better as a woman than I do.

Macbeezy, the Macbeth Hip-Hopera: I’ve always wanted to be in a musical. I mean, I’ll be honest – I’m not a big musical person. I’m really picky with them and have seen very few that impressed me, especially on the 99-seat Equity waiver level. And yet, I’ve still always wanted to be in one. The problem is, I can’t really sing. I mean, I enjoy singing, I totally do it in the car or when I’m alone. But I’m a little tone-deaf and just don’t sound that great. So when I heard about this opportunity in which I could be in a musical and have a rap number, I was like, “I’m in.” First of all, one of my favorite songs to karaoke is “Stan” by Eminem. And I’m actually pretty damn good at it. As long as I know the words and it’s not crazy fast like Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony, I can rap alright. So when Kelly Boczek-Petrie (co-writer and director) suggested I audition for the role of Donalbainia, my only question was, “Does she get a rap number?” And yep, she got one. What? What? For me, Macbeezy really just consisted of mastering that one rap number and a handful of dance choreography. And I have to be honest, I felt way more nervous on opening night than I have, probably since the first play I was ever in, like over 10 years ago. To this day, performing in a musical way in front of people is like the most nerve-wracking thing for me. But I survived and had a blast in the process. I had actually been involved in a staged-reading of an early draft of the adaptation earlier in the year and knew I wanted to audition when the time came. It was great seeing how the script had grown and really improved over a course of just a few months. Plus, I loved the music! Again, I’m not really into musicals. And I mostly listen to indie-rock, so I’m not big on hip-hop and R&B. But I loved the music. If you saw this show, you’ll remember how brilliantly Kelly and Mark Petrie (co-writer and musical director) brought Shakespeare and hip-hop together. Again, something I had never seen or even heard of before (except, ironically the Kirk Douglas opened a hip-hop adaptation of Othello almost at the exact same time). I probably had four rehearsals prior to tech week, so most of my experience and growth with this show was literally throughout the six-week run. And it didn’t hurt that this show actually sold-out – like, actually all 100 seats – which, if you’re involved in Los Angeles 99-seat theatre, you would know, rarely happens. And now I have a musical on my resume! Some lessons learned: the choreography for Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” takes way more coordination than you’d think, Words-With-Friends is highly addictive, and Benito Cardenas (Angus) is soooooooo funny.

Well, there you have it. My 2010 Knightsbridge review. Now that I’ve contributed in this way to my theatre company, I guess I should work some more on the graphic design for our next production. Ahh…it never ends….

2011
01/11
CATEGORY
if all the world's a stage, i want better lighting
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Memoirs of a wannabe writer who doesn’t really want to be a writer

When I was a child – say, grade school for sure and maybe middle school too – I wanted to be a writer. I specifically wanted to be a fiction author. I think. Then in high school I dabbled in journalism, writing semi-monthly for the city newspaper. Then I was introduced to theatre and decided that I wanted to be an actor.

Well, that wasn’t a very interesting story, was it?

And here I am, my very first (and only) book has been published and on the market for nearly one year. I’m not saying it’s been super-successful and sold lots of copies and is making me money. Because it isn’t, it hasn’t and it’s not. But my initial purpose for giving in and starting a blog was because I was told that’s what authors and writers do and it will help get my book out there. So I at least wanted to post something purely about my book. It’s titled “Memoirs of a Wannabe Sex Addict,” it’s published by Fanny Press, it’s a collection of short erotic stories, and, as far as I know, the easiest place to find it is on Amazon. There are several other sites out there that let you read free chapters, like Scribd. But I don’t really know how those sites work and how they got access to publishing the excerpts in the first place.

Despite the book’s title, it is not a memoir. At least not technically. I don’t think. Yes, it’s meant to be raw and realistic. Yes, it’s meant to be personal and uncomfortable. And yes, it’s meant to appeal to women who have ever used and abused their bodies sexually and in other ways. Let’s be honest, I think it’s specifically meant to appeal to women who may be “crazy” (depressed, bipolar, etc.) and “insane” (drug addicts, sex addicts, obsessive-compulsive). But that’s just because those are the type of people I generally relate with the most and those are the type of people that generally inspire me on a spiritual level. But despite all this, the book is not titled “Memoirs of a Wannabe Sex Addict: A Memoir.” Plus, “Memoirs of a Geisha” is totally fictional. There are definitely true elements throughout my book, but overall, what is true and what isn’t remains a mystery. Or a secret. But it really doesn’t matter because, regardless, the few women who have written to me personally after reading it have been able to relate in ways that they wouldn’t normally admit. And even though I’ve only received that response from maybe 1 or 2 girls, that’s all I was hoping for. I truly believe the book just hasn’t gotten out to those other girls yet.

Which leads me to – how to get my book out there. I started out with offering free copies to reviewers. Mostly regular people who had high reviewer ratings on Amazon and seemed to be interested in the genre. I probably emailed an equal amount of men and women, but to my disappointment, none of the women responded. The men did though and I got a handful of wonderful, gushing customer reviews and one angry, bitter review. I figured the ratio was to my benefit. Then I created a Facebook page and invited all my “friends” to “like” it. And I sent out personal emails to my real friends and specifically asked my female friends to consider reading it. And another handful of people responded. I had a few girlfriends buy the book, read it, then post more positive reviews. Any personal messages came directly to me and remain private, of course. Then I mailed or emailed press packets to “real” reviewers – like for newspapers and book review websites, etc. I received two responses – Sacramento Book Review and ReaderViews – and both gave positive reviews. And I created a page on my website devoted solely to the book, I delivered press packets in person to local independent bookstores then mailed copies to sex shops (particularly female-owned) like Good Vibrations and Babes in Toyland. Then my publisher took over in terms of following up with those businesses and submitting copies to new locations. Oh, and I emailed Susie Bright and Inga Muscio. Susie responded almost immediately and I sent her a copy. And that’s about it.

So I know being an author and selling a book is super-difficult. I’m an actor – so I know what that’s like. And writing isn’t my first passion. I enjoy it. I do it. I particularly use it to write roles for myself for projects I can produce myself so I don’t have to wait for Hollywood (or YouTube) to “discover” me in some trendy project that typically wouldn’t include Asian-Americans anyway. So I’m not really expecting much more out of “Memoirs.” I mean, I’m not giving up. But I’m not chasing anything. I just don’t think I have it in me to sell my soul as an actor AND sell my soul as a writer. I have to keep my soul intact in at least one of the fields I work in.

Honestly, if I could afford it, I’d buy a bunch of copies of my book myself and send them to any woman who wanted one. The men can still purchase it off Amazon.

P.S. Don’t make fun of me if there are some typos and grammatical errors in my posts. I don’t feel like proof-reading. And I mention this because I, too, am totally the type of person that would see typos and be like, “Dude, she’s a writer and she can’t even write right. She used ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’ like four times. How did she get published in the first place? And why do I even care so much? I need to calm down and go do something productive.”

2010
12/30
CATEGORY
the pen is mightier than ______
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OMFG

Oops. I actually started a blog. But not really…and definitely not on purpose. I just wanted to be able to post something on my theatre company’s blog – the Knightsbridge Theatre (knightsbridgetheatrela.wordpress.com). But it made me register and then it made me start a blog. And, lo and behold, I still can’t figure out how to post on the theatre’s blog. Only this one. I think.

Well, let’s be honest. I had been meaning to start a blog. I have this book that’s been out on the market for almost a year now but with very few sales. It’s called “Memoirs of a Wannabe Sex Addict” and yes, it’s erotica. And no, it’s not what you think. Anyway, the publisher has started blogs for some of the other authors because it’s supposed to be a good way to help get your work out there. Lots of writers blog, they read your blog, you “read” theirs, you swap reviews and voila – sales pick up. Or something. Well, the publishing company hasn’t been able to get around to starting a blog for me via their site yet. So, I guess they don’t ever have to get around to it now.

Honestly, I had also considered blogging because I had started to have more time on my hands as I struggle to find work (as an actor, mainly). But also so I could vent and pretend that people actually would read it and relate. I had imagined what I would write about. Like how I resented Target for making me boycott them. And how I saw this play a few months back and my primary reaction was, “Child molestation is never funny.” And here I am – I finally have the opportunity. But I’m calling it a night. I have errands to run.

So, here it is – Julia’s blog. Will it actually maintain regular posts? Probably not. But at least now it will be looming over my head regularly. And when I want to vent but have no one who will listen, I’m covered. Good times.

By the way, my real site is at www.juliamorizawa.com. There’s videos and shit.

2010
12/29
CATEGORY
blah blah blah
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